As I get older, Mother’s Day always gets a little more
emotional for me. I see less pictures of my friends with their own mothers, and
more pictures of my friends being mothers-
it still blows my mind.
Now that I’ve been married for over a year, I’m constantly
bombarded by questions from well-meaning family, friends, and coworkers, of when I’m
planning to become a parent myself. And the answer is, I just don’t know. Of
course, I would love to have a little prince or princess to love unconditionally
and take heat-warming pictures with. The truth is, I’m just not emotionally or
financially ready to have kids.
Then again, I’m constantly fearful of being an “old mom.” I
feel pressured, and like I’m running out of time. I wish I could stop time until
I was ready.
In the meantime, I deal a lot with what’s called “mommyjacking.”
I’ll say something innocent, like “I’m tired today,” and fellow moms, whether
they be coworkers or friends, will smile knowingly and say, “Just wait until
you have kids. You won’t have any time for rest!”
Like, wait, what? They hijacked my sentence! I know that! I wasn’t even referring to
the exhaustion that comes with being a mother! “Mommyjacking” is when a mother
tries to trump your issues by insisting that motherhood is just so, so
demanding. Of course, I know this, and I feel for them, and appreciate all the
moms out there and all the hard work they do…but I wish sometimes I could make
an innocent statement without someone jumping down my throat.
Another example is when I try to talk about publishing a
book, and someone else (usually a coworker), will pipe in with, “Just wait
until you have a child! That’s the greatest accomplishment of all!” or “Well,
you better write while you can- when you have kids, you’ll never have the time!”
Well, we’ll just see about that! If mothers I know can be
wonderful parents and still find the time to go on European vacations and
cruises and fancy dinners and what have you (while I’m childless and have never
been to Europe), then I think I might
be able to find the time to write every so often.
Don’t get me wrong though- I can’t wait to be a mother! Just
not right now, and maybe when I’m not under so much pressure.
Anyway, to quiet my fears and get back on topic, here are a
few Disney mothers (and one mother-like figure) that inspire me the most:
1. Sarabi, The Lion King
First, I love Sarabi and Mufasa as parents, even though we
only see one scene with the two of
them together, when Simba wakes them up early. This exchange pulls on my heart
strings:
“Your son is awake.” – Sarabi
“Before sunrise he’s YOUR son.” – Mufasa
For real, my husband and I say this all the time about our
dog- he likes to wake my husband up early for walks. I feel like we would say
this when we have actual kids.
This exchange just paints the picture of the two of them as
loving parents with a fun sense of humor. Sarabi is slightly strict with Simba
when he’s a cub, allowing him to go to the water hole “as long as Zazu goes
with you,” and is clearly a proud mother when Simba returns at the end, this
time as a grown lion, come back to take his place as king. Sarabi had to remain
strong and resist Scar after her mate’s death, and under the belief that her
son was dead. I wish we had gotten to see more of her and Mufasa- she seems like
a loving character who not only demands respect, but shows fierce loyalty to
her tribe as well.
2. Ella’s Mom (Cinderella 2015)
In the original 1950’s Cinderella, we didn’t see the mother
at all, and we learn early on that her father dies as well, but not before
marrying the wicked stepmother.
However, in the live action 2015 film, we get to learn more
about Ella’s mother and their relationship. Ella’s mom (we don’t learn her
name) is sweet and patient, and teaches Cinderella how to show kindness to all
living things. For example, we see young Ella caring for all the animals in her
garden, even the mice and the geese. Ella’s mom asks if Ella thinks they can understand
her, and Ella says “don’t they, mother?” Her mom replies, “Oh yes, I believe
that animals listen and speak to us if we only have the ear for it. That’s how
we learn to look after them.”
She doesn’t mock Ella for talking to the animals even if it
seems nonsensical- she then goes on to teach Ella about Fairy Godmothers. Ella
asks incredulously, “And do you believe in them?” Ella’s mom replies enthusiastically,
“I believe in everything!” Ella smiles and replies, “Then I believe in
everything too!”
Ella’s mom teaches her daughter about belief, kindness, and
even magic. She uses her last breaths to tell Ella “a great secret”- to have
courage and be kind. She insists that “when there is kindness, there is
goodness, and when there is goodness, there is magic.” This is something that
Ella holds dear to her heart throughout her life, and it indeed sees her
through all the trials and tribulations she endures with her stepmother.
Eventually, kindness and hope win in the end, just as her mother promised. This
movie taught me that kindness has power.
3. Helen Parr, a.k.a Elastigirl (The
Incredibles)
Helen is both a mom and a superhero- some would say that
those two are one and the same. She has a big responsibility to protect her
children without hindering their abilities. She struggles with this a bit at
the beginning, when her son Dash gets into trouble at school for his super
speed. He insists that she’s always telling them to be special, but she doesn’t
really mean it. Helen sighs and replies
“Everyone is special, Dash.” Dash grumbles, “Which is another way of saying no one is.”
When her husband, Mr. Incredible, gets into trouble, she
goes to rescue him from the evil Syndrome, and her children, Violet and Dash, stow away for the adventure (Helen unwillingly lets them come after they
narrowly escape a plane crash). She is stern with them, and tries to force
Violet into using her powers suddenly after years of making her suppress them.
She soon realizes her mistake, however, and apologizes to Violet for being “unfair.”
However, she also teaches her a lesson in learning not to doubt herself- that
Violet can do amazing things with her powers.
“Don’t worry. When the time comes, you’ll be ready,” she
assures her daughter, tucking a strand of black hair behind her ears.
Violet and Dash both learn how to use their powers and
protect their identities, and learn how to not deny and suppress their special
abilities. Helen is realistic as a mother figure, even though she’s a
superhero- she’s not the perfect parent, but she stands by her family…and they
all end up saving the day in the end.
4. Nani, Lilo and Stitch
True, Nani is not a mother. She’s Lilo’s older sister who
takes on the role of being a mother after their parents die. She clearly tries
her best to care for Lilo; she constantly tries to prove herself worthy with
the persistent social worker, she’s relentless when it comes to finding a job
and keeping their family from being torn apart even more, and when she hears
Lilo wishing for a friend, she brings her to the dog adoption agency- and
Stitch comes into their lives!
I relate to Nani, both as an older sister myself, and a mother figure to others.
Sometimes the sisters fight, but at the end, they always have each other’s backs. As Lilo
reminds Nani after a bad fight, we’re sisters, “it’s our job.” She likes Nani
better as a sister than as a mother, and in the end Nani does learn how to
adopt that delicate balance between being a sibling and caring for Lilo as a mother would.
5. Andy’s Mom, Toy Story
She’s a single mom raising two kids, and Andy turns out to
be a cool guy at the end of the third movie. He’s kind, cares for his family,
and takes time to give his precious toys a good new home with the adorable
Bonnie. We can only assume that this is due to Andy’s mom showing Andy how to
be compassionate, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I teared up at the
end right before Any went off to college and his mom started to get emotional over her son leaving the nest.
Andy’s mom is a rare Disney character in the fact that she’s
a single mother, yet she is such a positive role model. In the beginning, she
supports Andy’s imagination and protects his toys (I love the way she refused
to sell Woody to Al from Al’s Toy Barn, even after the guy offered $50 bucks
for him). In the end, she makes sure Andy is all ready for his next adventure
and helps him transition into adulthood, as any good mother would. As the toys
would say, go Andy’s mom!
So there you have my list! Of course there are other, though
not many, Disney moms out there that I adore, but these are my top five. I also
love the mom from Inside Out, Kala from Tarzen, Mrs. Potts, the parents from
Tangled- the list goes on. Disney mothers are so important, because they raised
my favorite heroines and heroes whom I look up to all the time.
I couldn’t end this post without giving a shout out to my
own mother, who I love dearly; my sister, who I will always protect even when
my mom is not there; my sister in law, who has shown me that you can be a great
mother at any age, and all of my friends who have become mothers (even if all I
see are baby pics all day, every day). You ladies are all wonderful!
Hugs and fishes,
Arielle
